It Isn’t You – It REALLY Is Me

“You Can Explore The Universe Looking For Somebody Who Is More Deserving Of Your Love And Affection Than You Are Yourself, And You Will NOT Find That Person Anywhere.” – Unknown

It was sort of hard for me to accept this quote above, but after reading it a few times and having some great conversations the past few days with Family and Friends…This statement could not offer more truth.

I know there are a lot of you out there like myself. I tend to find myself striving to please anyone and everyone around me. Often times neglecting my own happiness in the search to fulfill someone else’s. I do not necessarily completely deprive my own self of pleasure and indulgence, but I do find that I place my own feelings on the back burner and allow the insecurity to set in when someone does not like me or if I cannot please someone. I try so very hard and in the end to only receive nothing but heartache and pain for a fight that I was not destined to win is so not worth it.

I have been blessed with the most amazing Husband. Though he has been diagnosed with a life threghtening disease, he wakes up every day along with me thanking GOD for me as I do him. Since Mike’s diagnosis, we have had people from his past and mine as well reach out “in concern” for him. These people have come far and wide from my past and his. Mike and I allowed them and in turn reached out in hopes that the past was the past and we were doing something good by offering friendships to these people, and as always another lesson learned. The harder we were trying to please everyone around us, we were losing touch of our own happiness and comfort in order to ensure that these relationships were intact and making sure that everyone else was fine. Well the truth is they are fine without us, just as we are without them. Mike and I must start living for us again, and stop pleasing and reaching out to others that do not want it. In all honesty Mike is so much better at this than me. He sort of has that “cell”, you know the one that allows you to know when to stop or sometimes allow you not to care…I am seeing into getting it surgically removed so that we can share it – I need one!

Mike and I together have accumulated some really great, TRUE friends that if you are reading this, you know who you are. You keep us grounded (especially ME), you keep it REAL with us and you reassure Me it is OK to not please everyone – it is not humanly possible – For this bit of knowledge, I thank you!

Over the few weeks, I know that in the end, your family is all you have…and I am proud to have Mike as my family. I am proud of our conjoined family and our friends that have become family. I am OK with knowing that I am only one person, and it is OK to be selfish and look out for Mike and I – just as everyone looks out for the ones they love – their family.

Mike and I have an unbreakable bond that will be broken by no one. The bond will only be broken if I allow to continue to consume myself with worrying about pleasing others and striving to be the best friend to everyone that does not need that friend. Mike is my Rock as I am his. That is all we need and with GOD as our Foundation, we are already ahead.

So In ending, if you are reading this – please know that as I stated…”It Really ISN’T You – It REALLY is ALL Me!”