“The odds of
going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread
are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck”
This so reminded me of
Mike because I was that one --- “I’m Headed to The Dollar Store” – Getting Toilet
Paper – End Up With EVERYTHING but and our house has new decorations…our house
remained ecliptic.
I chose to reach out
tonight to all for we are approaching 6 months Mike has been gone and different
feelings for us all…as the “divorce’” of the family --- you were still all
family.
I’m learning my new norm
as you can see if you see my blog – maybe, maybe not, but a widow is a role I
never intended to play nor have a family taken from my grasp – no matter how volatile
the relationship at the time – family is what I became and what we were.
Just an update to all…I
and the “wet-nosed” kiddos are good --- it’s a different vibe around the house,
and I can’t really tell if they know…but it is different, but we are getting used
to it. I remain volunteering at
MDA. I joined a co-ed softball team that
Mike and I yearned to join before he got sick – he asked me to continue if he
ever got too sick to pursue – I did. I’m
going back to school (internet based for now) for Mike always pushed me to do –
I’, Going to Do it.
You all knew Mike WAY
before I ever knew him – You all saw EVERY part of him – you ALL experienced
the Good and the Bad – as did I – But I was so fortunate to know him the way I
did. The way no one will – no offense to
family and friends – but as a husband / wife – you just have a bond --- yes a
bond as crazy as it may look.
He shared a secret with me
once --- and I am ready to share. Maggie
--- GOD he loved you! I know that you are his sister and you “knew” him --- but
dang he loved you! Kevin – You are HIS
dad! Peter – Memories are faded in between…but he forgave. Peter – oh sweet brother – he was so proud of
you – he was envious of your relationship with Pete, but he loved you and he
was so proud of you! Peggy – he hated
your heart was so unhappy many times, but he knew that little giggle you had
and the pugs that made you so happy – made him happy – he always recalled laying
in your front yard on that tree while his vacation there – no worries. Uncle Tim he loved you so much and carried
Pete in his Van – Pete brought him good luck!
Unc Kev, Steph, Brian – he always talked about the trip he last had ---
the private moments with you Steph! Cherished! Cissy – SO thankful you were there for his
last breath and last dinner – you gave up your lifestyle for him --- he cherished
that! Uncle Bob & Aunt Susan – the
time together – Oysters, honesty and just love – thank you! ALL other Charnock / Dowd family --- Take
this – Mike and I spoke often of many of ya’ll!!
I hear that when you lose
a loved one – a spouse, especially…it is like a divorce, and to keep touch is
not the “norm” from this family --- I almost wish as if Mike and I have
divorced, for it would not be this hard to lose such a great family…
I wish you all the best –
and I have kept quiet for a while…but I just don’t understand…and I don’t yearn
to – just to let you know what exactly Mike felt before he left to Heaven ---
He loved you all…
OX LC
