Thank YOU Jesus For The Right Words...

“Looks like we made it ; Look how far we've come my baby, We mighta took the long way; We knew we'd get there someday They said, "I bet they'll never make it"; But just look at us holding on; We're still together still going strong – Shania Twain”


Do you wake up EVER and think of the life you have led the things you have done and even though some good, some bad you still catch yourself asking GOD “What is MY Purpose?” I will admit I have asked myself several times throughout my life. I cannot say I have lived a “perfect” lifestyle by any means…I have made many mistakes and goodness gracious A LOT of bad choices, and yet still GOD has continued to lift me up and put me back on my feet and point me in the direction I need to be.

I have always been an open book, you ask and I will gladly tell. Sometimes maybe I am too honest and very naïve at times, and by sharing things with others, those stories of my life, rather than taken to heart and offered compassion, they were used against me and even used to try to hurt me. For those people, shame on you. Of course with my heart and my strong faith and belief in my LORD above, I have forgiven.

Now this brings me to this day today. It brings me to this journey that Mike and I entered in on July of last year. It literally feels like just yesterday we were sitting in the doctors office receiving the news of Mike’s diagnosis, but yet as I sit here and look at my calendar, it has been a little over a year – WOW! The day we received Mike’s news of the treatment program he was going to be put on and that if this did not work he would be looking at 5 to 6 months to live and not celebrating his birthday in 2011. Well I tell you what; I did not take the news to well. I drove home from work, barely able to see through the tears I was crying and stopped in the grocery store bought the biggest bottle of wine and drove home, grabbed Mike and sat in the back yard till 1 AM, drinking, crying, laughing and sharing stories we had never talked about before. As I looked at the clock and we headed to bed, I looked at him through swollen, blood shot eyes and told him no matter what – from this day moving forward, we are to look at this as a journey and be positive and not sulk nor get depressed, for we do not know at this time why we were chosen, but it is what GOD has given us and he promises to not give us more than we can handle, so obviously we can handle this.

Now I tell you, being a care giver is no easy ride, even for me. I have been poked fun at by many, actually I take that back, only a few, maybe even just one of my KART-Wheel Mentality through this journey – some or maybe even just one may call it complete denial – me, I call it NOT GIVING IN! Since receiving the news yesterday of Mike and the Scans being clean and no signs of Cancer, I have to say the night we sat in the back yard, crying at the moon and guzzling wine, that night we turned it ALL over to GOD and we knew it was going to be ok. I was told yesterday when I was sharing the good news, I said “I am in complete awe, I cannot believe this!” I was told “Lyndie, do not start lying now – you ALWAYS knew mike was going to be healed – you CLAIMED it!” and you know what, you are damn right! I sure did Claim it a year ago and thank YOU JESUS for hearing my shout and my praises along with ALL Prayers!

As I sit here today writing this, I truly know now in my heart that though there are many times I feel that I did not know my purpose, I am glad and thankful that all along GOD knew. I have no doubt that, though I have doubted myself as a care giver many times because of the vast amount of information that is thrown in your lap regarding Cancer and all, I am thankful, SO very thankful that GOD instilled in me the strength, courage and allowed me to NEVER lose my KART-Wheel mentality which has enabled me and now I know, I am and have been the very best caregiver during this time, during this journey that is not quite over yet.

During this time as well, Mike and I though we have a HUGE amount of support and our family and friends have surrounded us with unconditional love, unfortunately we have lost some people along the way, possibly due to miscommunication or just selfishness, but regardless this is something that as I said above, you are forgiven. Though we don’t understand why in the midst of such a roller-coaster of a journey of doubt, fear, happy and sad days, I am again thankful that GOD knew to remove some people at just the right time to ensure not to cloud or fog the path he has placed us on – for you ALL that have stood by our side and have even come back into our lives (You BB!) we are forever grateful for ALL of you combined have surely lighted our path and offered sunshine to warm our skin and our hearts!

In closing, if you catch yourself asking “What is my purpose”, just wait – GOD is there, GOD is good and whether you are 18 or 99, do not lose faith or hope – XOXO

XO Lyndie