Cancer – The All Year Hurricane Season

“Rainbows apologize for angry skies - Sylvia Voirol”


Hi Everyone!

It’s been a little minute since I had my last entry…it has just been so busy with work, personal and just the goings on of everyday – my new normal!

As always, I pray before I write…I pray that the words I put on here, not only come from deep in my heart, but that they touch yours as well. I have been hung up on a title of my next entry and as we are in the midst of Hurricane season (whatever that means these days – Here in Houston, no day is the same – literally!) I thought of preparing for Hurricane Season comes around once a year, as we all hustle and bustle to gather supplies all while preparing for the worst yet expecting anything! I see Cancer as the ALL year Hurricane Season – everyday running around from doctor’s appointments, taking out vitamins, exercising and eating ALL the foods that prevent you from getting cancer, just in an 24/7 prep mode – prepping for the worst and expecting anything! Well just as IKE took us for a ride in 2008, Cancer hits everyone just as IKE did – though we WERE prepared, when we received the news, we were blown away, roof torn off the house and all of a sudden vulnerable to the world!

When I was younger, Cancer and any disease or sickness (and mainly being my age and not introduced to a whole lot of sickness growing up) I always thought “old” people get sick – people like our grandparents who were in WWII, who have been married for 50 + years. You know “old” people that have had kids, grandkids, GREAT-GREAT grandkids. You know the “old” people that through the house you can get lost in hallways and photo albums of black and white pictures with grandpa’s arm wrapped around grandma’s waist leaning on an old Lincoln with a slew of kids in the front yard – most like Mom/Dad/Aunts/Uncles – you get the picture. As I get older (33, I STILL say I am the youngest in my age group ;) it seems that disease and sickness is ALL around me, around US! It floors me how many calls I get from family and friends and Family of Friends of Friends…that dreadful phone call or message that “So in So” has just gotten the news…”They have Cancer” (or any disease/sickness – I am just partial to cancer, for I am living without my husband because of it – and it hits pretty close to home).

As you all know, on this journey, I have been mad, sad, angry, happy, joyful, hopeful, faithful and every emotion that you can imagine – as I say “Kart-Wheels and Pain, Sunshine and Rain” ---- Pretty much explains my everyday – But thankful for more Kart-Wheels than Rain! One thing I never asked on this journey was “Why Me?” “Why Us?” “Why am I not going to grow old with my best friend?” I do not ask this question because, I know the reason and as always it remains HIS plan and NOT mine…He asks me to not understand, just praise him for everything…even a good hair day. Along this way, the day our lives changed for ever in July of 2010 we have met some amazing people, people that we would have NEVER met if it had not been for HIS plan to bring us through this storm and back into the sunlight. People that have changed our lives forever and people that continue to change MY new life forever…Family, Friends old and NEW and Strangers that after that one hand shake, hug or even a message or text, are no longer a stranger, yet become friends and support on this journey!

The heart-breaking part of this though is that as you look around, it is not just the “old” people that are getting sick…it is a newborn baby that is not even able to leave the hospital and take long naps in that nursery designed especially for him/her. It is the young teen who isn’t worried about getting bullied at school, yet only of nervous thoughts of getting beat up by treatment and knowing they will be too weak to join their school sports or play in that marching band at the homecoming game. It’s the young couple, struggling to make ends meat, to feel those precious house full of children and praying that insurance will continue to cover the expensive treatments and MRIs all while fighting off the banks as they start to get foreclosure notices and the repo man is driving down the street waiting for his chance. It is the middle-aged couples that just celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary, and are planning their retirement and all the places they will travel, but now plans are on hold and their days will consist of daily trips to the Med Center and the only traveling they will do is to and from doctor’s visits.

People ask me daily how I am. I am doing great! I have much peace in knowing where Mike is now and that he remains with me daily in all that I do. Though Mike left me too early, I know he had a GREAT life! He led a very diverse life and he saw many things, accomplished so much and though there was surely more he had planned…his heart was at peace with GODs will and for that gives me peace and I know that our love is and was magical – you can only hope to meet that person that not only becomes your lover and husband, but from beginning to end, they remain your best friend! Believe me as I said, I have my ups and downs and all arounds, but GOD blessed me with great memories of Mike along with a STRONG Support Army of family and friends who never leave my side and are ALWAYS with me in spirit! For these reasons, I remain at peace…I was true to my vows, till death do us part…something I will always cherish.

I have recently been fortunate to meet several people and families that are going through struggles right now, families that are very strong in their faith, yet as humans, we are scared. They have not only been an inspiration to me, but me to them as well…and that is what it is all about! I admire the strength they have…these are families that have to not only worry of each other as husband/wife, they also have children – children of ages that do not comprehend just now why mommy/daddy are in the hospital. They do not understand why their parents do not feel good, why mommy/daddy are getting so sick and why they cant play with them like they used to…for these families I do not feel pity, I only have deep admiration for their will to stand and allow GOD in their lives and have faith that he will bring them through this storm.

I know it is only natural to have family/friends going through this to have sympathy or pity them…but know that when you are looking into their eyes, or talking to them on that other line, or typing that email, don’t remind them how sorry you are for them, or try to fathom what their daily journey consists of…believe me, WE live it, WE Know it – I simply ask during these times, to simply offer a prayer, offer your love, offer a hug and tell them how proud of them you are! Reassure them that for these struggles that we yearn so much to understand, we just are not supposed to. Re-instill that positive mindset that sometimes slips off into outer space as they are being poked and prodded with needles and developing a first name basis with the entire hospital staff…even the cleaning crew! Offering pity only I feel weakens the mind and allows doubt and fear to linger longer…believe me…Mike lived with this disease for over a year and half, but his mindset was set on healing and living life – NEVER TAKING ANY MOMENT FOR GRANTED – How we should ALL live life! Now do not get me wrong, the sadness lingers, for as a friend said recently as her husband was fighting the fight, she retreated to the shower to cry – for no one could see your tears in there.

In closing, I recently told you…when you have that moment where you struggle to find something /someone to pray for – just simply ask GOD to pray for ANYONE in need of his word, his touch…just pray. GOD knows your heart and when you release that prayer (a general prayer I call it) I know GOD will take that prayer and lift up someone he can see and hear though I cannot…my prayer is lifting someone’s spirits at that moment. Just as a smile at a stranger on the street, you never know how that smile has changed their day or affected them…a prayer works just the same. I continue to thank you all for sticking with me as I continue to travel down the path of “MY New Normal”, for even I do not know what it will continue to consist of…

OXOX

LC

Team Tausha!

“Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother - Oprah Winfrey”

Wow! I cannot believe I am approaching 3 months that Mike has made his Heavenly Entrance --- I feel as though it was just yesterday, yet continue to be blessed with Mike to be a part of my every day. Only a few times have I not dreamt of Mike in my sleep. It really is the best sleep. It is such a presence as if we are catching up after a long day…we talk of things that are happening that day, it is quite comforting. Also it seems daily that I find him somewhere in the middle of my day whether it be a shape in a cloud at that just moment when he knows I need him, or a certain song playing with those just right words…GOD remains to bless me daily with these signs and I do not go a day without the Strong Like Bull ora surrounding me.

This week was a HUGE milestone, I mean HUGE! There remain some places still to this day that I get choked up visiting…some being restaurants that Mike and I used to eat at, dreading seeing the familiar faces that offer just a smile not really knowing what to say, for they miss Mike just as much as I do. Being back at work has been a HUGE blessing and I pray daily to continue to make breakthroughs in my daily strides. BUT the most remarkable place I went back to this week was MD Anderson. I volunteer here, but have shied away the past few months, and not for the reason of having any ill feelings, just fear. MDA is a beautiful place with Amazing people and though it was not the BEST of times, Mike and I surely met some amazing people, created some great and long lasting friendships and had plenty of laughs. I suppose I feared the walks down the hallways, past the café we used eat at, entering the elevators that we rode up and down so much and just sitting in benches we used to sit in between appointments – all these thoughts lingered, but thankful this week GOD intervened and I stepped back through those front doors and have truly been blessed! I know some feel that Facebook is the “devil” and all It does is create drama – for those mind sets, I say FB is what YOU make it. Just as in your life, YOU create what you allow to take you down and what things are said or done to you affect your outlook. Granted there are MANY people, who use FB for bad, but for me, it is my daily therapy and I am blessed to be in touch with others that I may not see everyday, but yet I feel like I am just sitting across from a friend chewing the fat and never skipping a beat. This week, FB has brought an amazing family into my life that has allowed me to set aside my fear and walk through the doors of MDA with my head held high! The family I speak of are The Bowsers.

Through FB I learned of this family through a mutual friend that we both went to High School with. Early this week Tausha became sick and was rushed to Bayshore where he life was in critical condition. After a series of testing, on May 07, 2012 she was rushed to MDA with a diagnosis of Leukemia. (After some further testing she has been diagnosed with Aplastic Anemia (Aplastic anemia is not a type of cancer but may be associated with certain cancers (especially those affecting the bone marrow, such as leukemia) or cancer treatments. A small number of patients with aplastic anemia may develop leukemia.) -- testing is still being done to determine this as her final diagnosis. I reached out to her husband via FB to offer myself in any way I could – being very familiar with MDA and having just gone through this with my Husband, I thought if anything I could offer words of advise with upcoming challenges that will be faced. No doubt they have a HUGE base of family and friends to offer support and love, but as I have learned having someone who has gone through what you have gone through (especially when it comes to a spouse) I just prayed to GOD that I was doing the right thing. I received an email back and was invited to come visit Tausha and Jon, for MDA is quite overwhelming and any words were welcome. Little did I know that Jon had not told Tausha I was coming (for he knew that she may be hesitant at first with meeting a “stranger”) but oh how did that walk through that door change all of our lives forever.

I entered the room, immediately had a peace and calm come over me. There lay a beautiful mother of four grinning ear to ear with the same look of peace in her eyes. We immediately connected and after an hour and half passed it was time for me to leave, but I walked out feeling I had known her for years and her as well to me. I asked if I could come back that evening to meet her hubby and she was excited for her kids were coming that night to visit (which it was almost 2 weeks since she had seen them in person, only via-Skype). I was a little nervous, for I did not want to intrude on this special visit, but they both assured me it would be fine! I headed back to MDA that night and as I turned the corner, I approached Tausha, Jon and their 4 beautiful children! There was nothing but smiles, laughs, hugs and though Mommy is sick, there were no tears or fearful faces…it was all bravery! I felt so blessed to be a part of this visit and get to hug and meet these precious angels. Soon after that I headed back to Tausha’s MDA Suite (You know I always reference as Hotel MDA) and this is it! Before I knew, it was going on almost 11 and the time had just flown by. We laughed, joked, cried and just continued to get to know each other as though it seemed we had been friends since childhood – for this I am so grateful! I received a message from Jon as I left and he said he had not seen Tausha laugh as much as she had in weeks and for me it was a huge milestone as well – HUGE Therapy session for the both us ALL – Thank You JESUS!

Tausha started chemo yesterday and thus far it will continue for 3 more days, 4 hours a day. She remains in and out of pain, but it is being managed and Jon has not left her side. Her team of nurses are great as well as her team of doctors. She has had an HUGE response to her Team Tausha FB page – please visit and Like. It also offers an abundance of information about the needs of Tausha right now (she is in need daily of single donor platelets) You can donate directly to MDA and they will go directly to her account (You can also ask for a cool shirt!) There is also information about a benefit coming up to raise money for outstanding medical bills and to provide for her family while she is at MDA. It is greatly appreciate by ALL!

In closing, I remain thankful to GOD for allowing me into the Bowser’s life and them into mine as well – I feel we are ALL truly blessed for this new friendship.

Believe me Cancer SUCKS and I know the Devil wishes for nothing more than it to continue to tear us down – but little does he know, it actually BRINGS US CLOSER!

XXOOXOX Lyndie

Team Tausa Website: http://www.facebook.com/#!/TeamTausha

Wrapped in Warmth - Giving Credit Where Credit is Due – XO Lyndie

Hi All!!

I hope all is well wherever you are today! I promise this is short, I just did want to give credit where credit it due!

I had no qualms of what I was going to do with Mike’s clothes – I in no way was ready to ship them off to Goodwill, heck I am even having his Cowboy boots made into plant potters  Going through his closet, I reached out to a few people for some ideas what to do with his shirts, etc… A dear friend (a daughter of a man that has taken his journey to the Pearly gates along with Mike) had suggested a company called Campus Quilts - http://www.campusquilt.com/ - I researched their website and read the reviews and I was excited to bag his shirts up (and even his favorite swim trunks – for we were water babies) and send them off. I even have the shirt he wore on our first date and the shirt I was wearing the VERY first night we met!

I was overcome with joy today as I came back from lunch and was greeted by a box – a big one  I quickly opened and immediately felt Mike here with me! I wanted to share the finished product with you all! Aunt Cissy, Aunt Peggy and Kevin – if you look closely you can see 3 shirts that will bring back memories – Dr. Enuff (From Cissy), Clear Water PD (From Peggy) and an old shirt Mike refused to part with – some sort of fishing/ocean shirt (From Kev and His Mom) – the others were a lot of Mike’s favorite shirts – he was a simple man with a simple wardrobe, so the quilt was my most favorite option to have these preserved. It has a sleeve on the back, which will allow me to hang in our house for display – Mike’s spirit WILL Love on!!

I wanted to share this special moment with you all and also, share the idea – great for a way to preserve special memories! Love you ALL!!

XO Lyndie

FUNDING FOR FREE LUNGS!

It is up and running -- Official Fundraising website for Funding Lung Cancer Research! Please feel free to share with EVERYONE!! I am determined to be the Susan J of this Cause!!!

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/stronglikebull/fundingforstronglikebulllungsmikesstory

OXOXXO Lyndie

Benefit of the Bulls 2012 – Raising Money for “Strong Like Bull” Lungs

“A sad soul can kill you quicker than a germ - John Steinbeck”


I came across this quote and how true it is. Before Mike departed onto his heavenly adventure, I strived my very best to maintain his mentality to stay strong and healthy and positive, even in not the most positive moments – our good days far outweighed the bad during this battle, for that I remain at peace daily.

Well, I do promise this entry to be brief for it is just an announcement of sorts J As I had mentioned in my previous email, I have really dove into researching Lung Cancer and other charities and am forming a team for ‘Free to Breathe Organizations’ first Annual walk/run in Houston TX in November. The website is still in progress, but as soon as it is up, I will for sure provide all of that information for donations and registration. You can visit the organization through this site – information will be posted soon ---- http://www.freetobreathe.com/index.html

In the midst of Mike’s diagnosis and the 2 year journey with this disease, I was very naïve to how unfunded this cancer is. I found this recently from the Lung Cancer Research Partnership:

There is Not Enough Funding for Lung Cancer Research
Lung cancer claims more lives each year than breast, colon and prostate cancer combined.1 Yet these cancers receive proportionately more research funding than does lung cancer.

Research Investment Makes a Difference
Over the last 30 years, substantial investment has resulted in significant increases in survival of many diseases.

For example:

Breast Cancer - US Government research funding: $750 million / Results: significant increase in 5-year survival rates -- Early 1970s – 75% and Today – 90%

HIV/AIDS - US Government research funding: $3 billion/year / Results: AIDS was once a near-immediate death sentence and Today – with anti-retroviral drug therapy, the 3-year survival rate is 90%.

Lung Cancer - US Government research funding: Only $267 million/year / Results: very little change in 5-year survival rates.

Now do not misunderstand me, ALL cancers are tragic and ANY disease of any sort is detrimental to the patient and all involved…but I am a little biased due to Lung Cancer is what Mike was diagnosed with and fought till the last breath. Now with this said, just as we all have causes that affect our family and friends, we tend to lean to want to learn and research what we are in the midst of, for me it was Lung Cancer. The more I read, the more I want to fight for this cause, raise awareness and fund the heck out of it and donate ALL proceeds from any fundraiser, etc to this cause till one day, the survival rate is so much higher and people are living a lot longer with their loved ones!

With all of this being said, (though this is a way premature invite, but hey – remember again, I am far beyond normal and quite anal), so I am organizing a benefit to honor Mike and ALL proceeds will go to the organizations mentioned above to ensure that Lung Cancer research continues to get the recognition it deserves and lives are pro-longed – remember, you DO NOT EVEN HAVE TO BE A SMOKER TO GET LUNG CANCER! I hope you will use this email as the first official “Save the Date” for this event – once the foundation is laid out and pieces are put together, more notices will go out and flyers, etc.

Please see below Benefit Information:

Date: AUGUST 19, 2012

Time: NOON-6PM

Location: Cock-Eyed Seagull in Clear Lake

Address: 1010 E. NASA Parkway, Webster TX 77058

A Little About Why We Are Doing This: Benefit In Honor of My Hott Pocket of a Husband -- ALL PROCEEDS WILL GO TO TEAM ‘EL TOROS' FUNDRAISER CHARITY FUND FOR LUNG CANCER RESEARCH (FREE TO BREATHE & LUNG CANCER RESEARCH PARTNERS) (ONE ...OF THE MOST LOW-FUNDED CANCERS RESEARCHED) for The Walk in November!!!! BANDS, AUCTIONS, BBQ PLATES, SHIRTS, KOOZIES AND A CHANCE TO BE PART OF SOMETHING SO BIG AND HONOR MY HUBBY IN THE MOST AMAZING WAY AND ALL WHOM ARE AFFECTED BY THIS DISEASE!! MORE INFO TO COME, BUT ANALY SPREADING THE NEWS NOW!!!



So in closing, as I said this is pre-mature, but just highlight and drag it into a special folder and mark your calendars! I remain so grateful for you all – Family, Friends and ALL who have come into our lives through this journey and for the ones that will continue to keep Mike’s Spirit alive in all we do!

Much love to you all and many wishes for successful and sunny days!

XO Lyndie

Living an Enriched Life – My New “Normal”

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me - Erma Bombeck”


I found this quote this AM, and who knows I may have used it before, but it seemed quite fitting as I embark on the 2 month anniversary of Mike’s entrance to Heaven tomorrow – He surely used every ounce of talent that GOD intended for him to use!

So as always, I try so hard to make my updates NOT lengthy, but it’s been a month now, and a lot has happened, so I am surely entitled to a little rambling??? Ha!! Ya’ll know me so well ;) Let’s see where to begin…

First and foremost, I MUST thank you ALL who from the deepest pit of my heart and soul for allowing me to be me during this period and all that you will endure with me moving forward – you are all so special to me and the friendships and relationships that I have gained from each of you (some very different and diverse from others) but yet all the same in many ways. Mike was my best friend through everything, and with him gone, though I can still talk to him, there is nothing like getting a response from a dear friend letting you know…you are OK – it is SO OK not to be normal…who is right?

Since days before Mike went to Heaven, his Aunt Cissy came down to assist with taking care of Mike, he then passed 3 days later and she has been staying with me…what a blessing in disguise this has been. I was nervous at first, for I had not had a “roommate” since my 20’s, so I was afraid of the adjusting for both of us, but GOD has intervened and she has been the “stability” in these past months that at times have been unstable…I am grateful. However, as time goes on, we both know that I will be moving on, and so will she…she is moving back to TN mid-May to be with her friends that have become her family and get back to her normal. I am forever in debited to her for all she has done and the support she has provided…GOD and Mike surely had this planned ;)

Being back at work surely has been a blessing as well. No doubt I have my moments…looking at my phone missing my daily texts and phone calls from Mike or just awaiting for him to blast through my office door with that beaming smile and that huge hug – BUT I am surely thankful I will always have those memories. I love music but there are just some songs I am not able to listen to quite yet, for tears come over me! I must admit as I have said many times before, I am so BLESSED to work for such a supportive and compassionate company that doesn’t question any of my emotional actions, yet just offers a hug and as I apologize for not being “Normal Lyndie”, they giggle and assure me…I have NEVER been normal – I am me! Haha! As for the tenants and all our vendors, etc, it is good to be seeing them all again…they as well have offered such support in this time and just a simple smile can make my day!

As for my everyday life, I am staying active. The first month, I strived to get myself into anything and everything just to keep my mind busy…I became overwhelmed with making plans and trying to keep it all on track, so I had to step back, re-clear my calendar and get back to MY normal – I am a homebody. I am learning to be OK at home, just watching a movie, playing with the “wet-nosed” kiddos and enjoying some sweet tea on Mike and I’s front porch swing – one of our favorite places. I must admit as well, the sunsets lately have been so beautiful and the clouds are amazing. Mike and I Loved to lay out in the yard and just watch the clouds and guess shapes. The other day as I was walking the dogs, directly above the house there was a PERFECT set of angel wings – surely GOD allowed that to happen to reassure me I have the sexiest and strongest angel over me at all times – Thank YOU JESUS! Also other Mike-isms that have occurred are amazing! (2) Separate flower bushes that have NEVER bloomed in the 5 years we have been in our house are blooming out of control this season! AMAZING!! Just a little hint of Mike to me!

I have got back into the gym, I am involving myself in many charitable acts to support and offer research to Lung Cancer – I still cannot believe how under researched this disease is and how it is not funded in abundance! I am participating in the first Annual Lung Cancer Walk/Run provided by Free to Breathe organization in November – November 12th. I have created a team – “El Toros” – would I have it any other way? The website is in progress, so as soon as it is up and running, I will provide the link so you can pass on, donate or register to walk along side of all us Toros to support Lung Cancer research and keep Mike’s journey alive! I also am planning some traveling this Spring/Summer with some close girlfriends that I have reconnected with who have been amazing and here for me – you know who you are and I thank you! Some of my trips are including, the Hill Country, A little River Rafting, A trip to Florida and popping in along some southern states to stay with family – I know Mike will be with me on all these trips and I am blessed to have family and friends to accompany me and seek these destinations and create memories! ALSO, I am super stoked I am doing my first ever Beach Dash in October with some gal pals – it is 5 days after Mike’s birthday, so we will be getting down and Muddy (Mike Style) and celebrating his life the right way with a beautiful beach sunset and beautiful people – all of whom Mike loved and adored!

Let’s see what else? Oh yes! I did visit with a grief counselor. I was concerned that if this new “Norm” is normal – she reassured me when it comes to death of any magnitude (especially losing a spouse) there is NO textbook normal. She was quite impressed that I was not the basket case she was expecting ;) she called me an “Optimistic Realist” – I liked the ring of that. She assured me that I am aware of what I am going through, yet with my strong faith foundation, that I chose to focus on GOD and the good in life knowing Mike is in a better place, he was fortunate to not have gone through a lot of pain and that he is surely Cancer free dancing in Heaven with all we have lost and I am sure keeping GOD and all the angels amused with his witty comebacks and pearly whites! I attempted to attend a “Widow/Widowers” group – a huge fail. A lot of angry people and I just feel that I am not angry, not at GOD for taking Mike, not at the world or anyone. The grief counselor said that group settings are not for all and that she didn’t feel that I needed on-going counseling, unless I felt I needed it. I am just thankful that GOD has provided so many people for me to talk to and spend time with that I don’t really feel I need therapy - -that may change as the days progress, but for now, I like my setting. I did also visit with just a normal counselor just to talk to someone, but she said the same thing – I suppose for now GOD will continue to be my mentor and “go to” guy --- he has not failed me yet!

Oh and one last item – I am really excited to become a part of Habitat for Humanity with a dear friend and colleague in the League City area – I truly feel I am so blessed and I will continue to pay forward as Mike and I always did when he was here with me!

As you can see, all your prayers, uplifting spirits, support and love are surely guiding me on this continued journey of life – please as I said in the beginning of this email, know that this is ALL priceless! I will continue to live a life that Mike wanted me to live and surely have him wherever I go – He is and always be a part of me and you as well.

Love to you all beyond belief and much more!!

XO Lyndie

Its Already Been One Month!

“Pay attention to your dreams - God's angels often speak directly to our hearts when we are asleep - Eileen Elias Freeman”


I found this quote and how true I feel it is. Since Mike’s passing I have dreamt of him often…almost every night. Not such a dream where he comes to me in an angelic form, but just that he is here with me, and continues to remind me he is never far away…from the dreams to the sunsets in the evening, to even the form of a stray dog! I know daily, I fight away tears for not because I am alone, for I am surely not, but it is challenging to not want to pick up the phone and call Mike to tell him something crazy about my day or send him a sweet text to tell him I love the man that he is! Don’t get me wrong, I do surely talk to him daily in all that I do, and pray with him when I go to bed…for I know he is here, he is now MY angel that GOD has put in my life to ensure I stay on the proper paths that are laid out before me.

I could not believe as I sat to go to bed last night, it has already been a month since Mike passed. The beginning seems such a blur, maybe that is why the time has seemed to fly, or the fact that I know Mike would NOT have wanted to me to sulk and mourn, he would want me to continue to work and stay busy doing the things that I love, that is what I intend on doing. Spending time with the wet-nosed kiddos, spending time with my family and welcoming all the beautiful friendships we have developed over the years and open up to the ladies that have come to my side to comfort me and give freely their friendships that were put on hold just due to “everyday life”, I am surely as I said not alone.

I have so many wonderful memories of Mike – he was surely in a league of his own…as am I, I suppose that’s why it worked! Genuine hearts lay beneath our flesh and it showed in all that we did, for each other and all around us. As I write this, so many memories flow through my mind daily and there will continue to be many days – for this I am thankful! I shared a letter with a dear friend a couple of weeks ago, that Mike wrote me over the holidays last year…just from that letter, gosh it continues to show Mikes heart, where it was at, and not that I am at any point now to focus on a future with anyone else, but I guarantee its going to be difficult to fill those shoes and that heart – guys just are not made like Mike was now these days – and ladies if you have one, hold on to him tight and for the men who have that women that is a diamond in the rough, grab her and hold on tight – and if you have not experienced this level love at all – I pray that one day it finds you, grabs you and it never fades.

In closing, Mike will always remain my best friend. I will never get over him and I will cherish forever more the life we had together. I will always be thankful GOD put us in each others lives to experience and explore all we did in our 5 years of marriage. I will be forever thankful all we have met in our lives together we shared and the people GOD put in and KEPT in our lives through this journey that shared and witnessed true love, and the ultimate power of GOD above when you allow him into your life to do HIS work.

For all of you that remember outings with Mike, especially one of my favorite times we ended up on accident at a Tejano Karaoke night and from the back of all the crowd, Mike the only one in there with a cut-off sleeve shirt, shorts and cowboy boots, in between songs yells “Free Bird” – one of the DJs actually played it – we were the only ones of the dance floor, but it was the best night and again a memory I will always cherish --- You Are now truly a Free Bird Mike! I love you!

XO Lyndie