It Feels Good Feelin' Good Again

“In His Heart a Man Plans His Course; BUT The LORD Determines HIS Steps - Proverbs 16:9”

I suppose when I read this verse, I am first taken back in the sense that, “So I can plan my course through life and no matter what…GOD Already has determined what steps, what paths I am going to take?” So why does it matter what I do or where I go if GOD already has this planned out for me? WRONG way to think! Though I can easily take this verse as this, I choose to interpret in the way that “I can make all plans that I want to and plan my course through life, and I must know that it is not that they are not my thoughts and my roads I have planned, only that GOD has final say in which path I will take”

This past week has been really trying on my spirits. I have battled major sadness and so much MAD! I have actually found myself asking GOD “Why Us?” “Why Mike and Our Family?” I did this for a few days and then I broke away from the negative thinking and questioning and I prayed. I simply prayed for peace. I did not pray for understanding – it is not for me to understand. I prayed for this to be taken from us and given to GOD completely – for this is bigger than us and we alone cannot “Plan this Course” GOD will ultimately determine our steps.

Believe me this was not as hard this time. I did ask GOD when Mike was first diagnosed and then somewhere along the way, I sort of snuck it back and tried to keep it all to myself and plan this path, this course we were on. Well I will tell you, it is not easy and it only opens doors to allow the Devil insert doubt, confusion, despair and defeat! I felt myself actually stepping outside of my belief and doubting that GOD would do this to us – put this strain and disease on our family, “Why Us?” What had we done to have this happen to us? I suppose I didn’t realize that at first it was the Devil placing these thoughts in my head and my heart – I mean, we are Human and GOD knows that I have these thoughts and it is expected – But you know what? Rather than think these thoughts and continue to have complete trust in GOD, I took the burden back on us and tried to carry it and “Plan” this journey for us – That there my friend was the Devil ensuring me that I could do this all alone.

WRONG! The more burden I took from GOD and placed back on myself and Us, only ensured that my strength would dwindle and I would continue to become weak in this time where I need all my strength! I’m no longer mad, I am GLAD that GOD has only asked one thing of me, of us and this is to Give It ALL to Him and continue to Praise Him! Well I had the Praising him down to a tee, but he is not a big fan of the giving it to him and taking it back – He wants it ALL, as he reminded me today “He Determines OUR Steps”

Mike starts Chemotherapy this week – though we have heard all sorts of stories of side effects and the sickness that may be endured – we are learning to not guess the future – we will allow GOD to Determine HIS Steps.

As always – Mike and I and Our Family continue to thank you for continue prayers – They ARE working and we continue to feel it in our Everyday Lives! We Love you ALL, Far and Wide!!

I have attached some pics of the Bike Ride with our Church we were part of today! It was a beautiful day and It was just what Mike needed to lift his spirits and get that “Feeling Good Feeling” again < ---- A little Robert Earl Keen for ya!

XOOX Lyndie