Friday, January 27, 2012
“The feeling remains that God is on the journey, too - Teresa of Avila”
I hope this entry finds you all adapting to this New Year and accepting all the blessings that you unfold every day! It seems on this roller-coaster of a journey we are on; we never miss the chance to accept the blessings that are bestowed to us daily in all shapes and forms. One being that since Mike’s last visit to ER a little over a week ago, Mike has not traveled down that path of confusion and no ER trips – that alone is a blessing, because the ER is surely not a fun place! However, Mike will be returning to the Hospital on Monday to undergo a procedure to insert an Ommaya Resevoir to allow the administering of chemo that will be specifically for the Central Nervous System versus treating with radiation (which he had in the very beginning of all this for the tumors in the brain) and the Avastin that he was previously on. This after speaking to the doctors is very common in treating the spinal fluid which coats the brain/spine and protects the CNS. It was this or the Lumbar Punctures, and as I have said before, Mike is not a fan and that was not going to be an option ;) The procedure will take place Monday morning, and Mike will be a guest at “Hotel MDA” for 23 hours for observation. Once out, he will be set up on a treatment plan (pending the aggressiveness of his team) and most likely be at MDA 3 times a week for insertion of the chemo (which is less than 30 minutes we are told). As Mike prepped for his MRI today to gain the results for his neurosurgeon on Monday – I saw for a minute the “Strong Like Bull” Mike attitude prevail above his tiredness from all that has been going on the past couple of weeks from ER trips, Radiation and just the anxiety of the “2nd Part of Our Journey” – He looked at the nurse and reassured her – “I’m Not scared of surgery – see this scar ;) They say I am Strong Like Bull” --- Ha, I must admit, it brought joy to my heart to see the fighting spirit, though I know he is tired.
I myself have been battling anxiety –for as always, I hate waiting and want to kick this new round of treatment into gear and work on getting Mike better and restoring his energy. We as I mentioned previously in an entry, we have changed up our diet and eating habits and even try to maintain a little in-home exercise to keep his muscles strong while he recovers from this radiation and fighting the cancer that is in his Spinal Fluid (which also can cause fatigue) It stinks, because knowing that the tiredness can be caused by both the disease and the radiation as well, it is hard to pin-point where the tiredness is coming from, BUT most of all, we are thankful he has a strong mind-set, is alert, maintains an appetite and from the visit with the doctors this week, he maintains all his normal strength assessment and motor skills. He has dropped a little weight though he maintains an appetite, but this is due to the radiation and the location of being in the pelvic region, (you know what has set in – a lot of bathroom breaks ;)
In all, I am supportive of Mike and all the decisions he continues to make, and selfishly happy he wants to maintain fighting, for I am surely not ready to be without him – nor are you all. The continued prayers continue to be felt and the love and support we receive from you daily is amazing. In fact, in the past few weeks, we have been sent books, cards, scriptures and such in the mail for Mike – I read him all the emails, Facebook posts, texts and all else, but just something about receiving that piece of mail addressed to him from you and even people we have only recently met from MDA or along this journey, sure makes his day – he is SO loved by so many! I will continue to keep you all posted in the coming days/weeks as he starts this spinal fluid treatment and also his new chemo from his oncology team – along with prayers for us, please pray that GOD for his team of doctors puts in their minds and hands a treatment that will match perfect for Mike and continue to kick this cancer in the Butt as it did a few months ago! It is NOT Impossible!
Much love to you all and continued glad tidings in this New Year!
PS – If you have NOT Seen ‘Soul Surfer’ --- SUCH a great Movie!!!!
Friday, January 20, 2012
“Every cell that does not promote life and health (in Mike’s Body) is cut off from its life source. Mike’s Immune system will NOT allow timorous growth to live in my body – in JESUS name – Amen! Reference from Luke 17:6; Mark 11:23”
Today Mike and I after a long week of in out of hospital (one which included an overnight stay) woke up this morning in high spirits feeling better than we both have in a few days, and decided to go eat some breakfast. I have gotten pretty good at making homemade omelets, but we had to be at MDA early today to install a new pic-line to assist with the chemo he will be receiving, and due to his veins being so weak, this will assist with all blood work, etc. If you remember, he did have one a little while ago, but he had gone back to work, we were battling one of the hottest Summers in ages, so there was just no way around keeping it from getting sweaty and it eventually got infected, so we had it removed. Anyhow moving on, we opted between 2 of our favorite places this AM – Mexican or All-American. We were shooting for the Mexi-Breakfast, but then in the midst of our drive, we changed gears and craved waffles and eggs. We said hi to all the staff and a lady that I had never seen before came in and looked as a regular, grabbed her coffee herself and a paper and sat in the booth behind us. Our waitress, Ms. Dee, popped in and asked how Mike was and how we were…she could tell the distress in our faces, behind our smiles, and she could tell we were tired. We updated her of all the new progression and our part 2 of this journey. She grabbed Mike’s hand and reminded us that she has not stopped praying and in fact, talks about us frequently to customers when they are feeling discouraged or down and feeling kicked, she reminds them our Mikes Journey and our strong faith and ALL the good that has come from this…for that we are so thankful! As we left, the lady behind us stopped and asked “are you Mike?” Mike introduced him and I and she asked if she could sit with us for a minute and pray. We obliged (we love meeting people and having prayers for us)! She talked to us for a little bit and told us even though she had never known or met us other than the stories from Ms. Dee, we have remained in her prayers and will continue to do so --- and that Mike has been a true inspiration to her! As we walked out and headed to MDA, I was in awe of AGAIN how GOD works in our lives and at any given moment, will place someone or something to remind you that he IS right HERE with us! Feeling Blessed!
MDA was successful today and Mike’s pic-line was installed and he will no longer have to succumb to those (mean) nurses that sometimes have no regard to gently trying to find a vein and end up having Mike walking out looking like a heroin addict – granted this is not ALL nurses…but some ;) We finished off our day with a Protein Smoothie and off to the house for a restful weekend – cannot wait!
In the past days, I have tried to update as many as I could and am thankful for all who continue to spread the word if I am not able. After 2 ER visits and one overnight MDA stay within the past 2 weeks…we know and understand that the cancer is alive in the spinal fluid, and could possibly be causing the reactions Mike has experienced….BUT the doctors also have not ruled out that the episodes being caused by the new meds that have been incorporated (prior to this radiation) for pain and to help sleep – both VERY addictive and strong meds with HUGE side effects with the majority of what Mike went through – it was coincidental that BOTH episodes included these meds the day that he took them. I understand and know the severity of Mike’s disease and know that once you are messing with the nervous system and it has entered the spinal fluid stream such as it has done now…it is scary and may seem grim…BUT you know what? What part of Cancer IS NOT scary or grim? This whole disease whether it is Stage IV Lung Cancer, Melanoma, Kidney, Liver and all the other Thousands of Cancers there are – they ALL are scary and play with your system – Mind, Body and Soul (and the occasional nervous system!) BUT just as today we met his lady who was a stranger before today, I know and TRUST that GOD continues to work in our lives daily. GOD NEVER promised us this would be easy, but he DID promise us that He would never give us more than we can handle – and though at times, I feel so weak, confused and want this pain in my heart to subside and for Mike to be back on the boat and at our cabin…I know it is not that time yet – We still have much more to do here for GOD and the main one being CONTINUE TO GIVE THE GLORY ALL TO HIM!
This last episode was so scary, for having my husband so vulnerable to either the disease or the new meds, it broke my heart and I will not lie, my heart did fill despair and I felt as if though, we might be entering the worst part of this disease with no return…I was mad at myself for thinking this, but know that GOD knows these thoughts go through my head and it was the first time I was at peace with these thoughts, but in the same breath, I felt I almost grabbed back (sort of like when they rescued Carol Ann from the ceiling in Poltergeist 1), I felt I was snatched by the collar by GOD himself and put back on the battle room floor and my weapon was restocked and I at that moment, felt ALL prayer warriors on our side, locked hand in hand behind us, looking the mountain dead in the center and casting it into the sea! I can even admit, I felt a slight quiver, almost like a quake below my feet – yes that was the devil shaking in fear! I cannot guarantee there are not going to be more rough spots ahead, in fact, I know there will be, but with GOD on this journey with us and our faith WILL NOT become a victim to the prey of a hungry devil – we WILL continue to rise above!
In closing, as always, thank you all who continue to stand in agreement of Mike’s healing – for we are blessed to have such believers…On the flip I understand that there are also the “realistic ones” that continue to go only by symptoms and numbers, and for that, I do not fault you, for I have spent many nights GOOGLING and seeing ALL the bad, and have had Mike on his death bed many times – but instead I have started to read my bible more and indulge in ALL the good! Mike now has the pic-line as I mentioned and we are scheduled to meet with his neurology team this week to discuss the omea that will be put in place to attack the spinal fluid and kill that cancer. He will meet with his oncology team the following week to discuss the new chemo and start! OH! I forgot, I prayed long and hard and got the answer. My wonderful company has allowed me some time off to be with Mike in these coming days. We are SO thankful for all who have helped us this year with trips to the Doctors, coming by and visiting Mike when he was at home with nothing but westerns to watch and Judge Judy, but with all that has occurred, I wanted to be by his side for all that is coming up and hold his hand through it all and not miss anything! Thank YOU JESUS for allowing this! I will continue to update in the coming weeks of Mike’s progression with both the Brain port and the new chemo. Though he remains tired from the radiation (that stuff is some Kick A stuff) he remains to have a fighting stand and mind set – he has gone back and forth in the past weeks with the ER trips and both of our minds sets were weak…BUT after today, we continue to KNOW GOD is there and HERE and EVERYWHERE! Spread the word!
Continue to love you all and thank you!!
Friday, January 13, 2012
“Be Still and Know That I AM GOD – Psalm 46:10”
I will not promise this will be short, but it may not be long…and if I tend to ramble more than usual, Mike and I have just had about 7 margaritas each…I am JUST Kidding!!
I know I updated yesterday and had an entry that held hope from the previous incident from last Thursday…and as I have said in this disease…It REALLY does change daily. For this entry is not the best, but I know it is not the worst and stems from the MRI results we have been waiting for.
Last night was long, at MDA till almost midnight, and as tired as we were, there were so many people that were not as fortunate as us to be able to go home only 15 minutes away to their own comfy bed, yet they were in local hotels or even the hospital itself. The drive home last night was good, jamming to our favorite songs and having much confidence in the results that were to come to us today. However, GOD continues to have other plans and has set us on a slight detour on the healing path that we were skipping along.
We sat down today with our new Brain and Spine team, (Dr. Groves has moved to Austin to pursue a new Brain/Spine Study Center and we wish him the best!) Our new Nurse Practitioner came in and sat down and broke the news to us that the MRI from last night in fact showed new spots on Mike’s Brain…a few spots. Immediately I looked at Mike and it took us back to the very beginning of this disease. She explained the spots were SO very small, microscopically almost, but still that was not comforting…there is new growth! She did her physical exam with Mike and as always, he maintains GREAT strength, reflexes and all signs of the brain functioning properly. As I reported in my last entry, all body functions remain the same other than his fatigue from the current radiation he has underwent. He maintains a great appetite and even his sense of humor!
We sat there for a moment filled with anxiety as we waited for our new doctor. We were so used to ALL our good visits with Dr. Groves…this new Doctor was surely not starting off on the right foot with us – I am kidding! She came in, and informed us she had just hopped off the phone with our Oncology team and a plan was set – well a few plans. OK, before I go there, let me tell you how she explained the new spots to us. She said from the scans…they are not guaranteeing that the new spots are IN the brain, but possibly floating in the spinal fluid which coats the brain. When thinking of the spinal fluid – think of a golf club (upside down) – the spinal fluid covers your brain, all down your spine and back up. She feels more confident that the spinal fluid has become infected and some cells are floating and are swirling around the brain area, causing these “new brain spots”. ALSO, she informed us that the spell Mike had last Thursday was possibly a seizure (she is not certain), but feels with this new development, that is what occurred. For this precaution, he has new meds that will continue to coat the nervous system to help avoid future episodes…Now on to the options that we are given, they are as follows:
1) Mike can undergo Lumbar Punctures (twice a week) for a few months to insert medicine into the spinal fluid to kill the caner. (OK, Ouch! We all know from previous entries, Mike is NOT a fan of LPs, so this made him cringe)
2) Mike will undergo an outpatient treatment and have a port inserted in his head that will allow medicine go directly to the spinal fluid w/o undergoing the pain of a LP. (this is the option that Mike has decided)
3) Full Brain Radiation – Unfortunately, it worked AMAZING a year ago when his vision was in jeopardy but that involved a lot of exposure to his brain, so they have opted not to do this.
We listened carefully to all options, and informed the Doctor that we would go home, talk about it and get back…the minute we got in the car, Mike decided he wanted to have the port installed…no ifs and or buts…I emailed the doctor when we got home, so now the new road in our journey begins. We will be meeting with a neurologist next week to consult about the port procedure, from there Mike will undergo a test to ensure his spinal fluid continues to flow smoothly with no hiccups…if all is passed, he will begin immediately receiving treatment to kill the cancer in the spinal fluid. The good thing is, this new medicine, will not interfere with the treatment his oncology team has in place for him to treat the new liver spots.
In all honesty I feel a little numb right now. Yet, I also have much peace. This news we have received was a blow to our mountain high feeling we had, yet, I know that it is not the end. I understand the “statistics” to people who read those and live by those are not SO great…BUT as I said in a previous entry…we are no longer living by “a prognosis”, in fact we were not given one tonight…the doctors are encouraging us to rest up and get ready for the road ahead…Mike has continued to amaze them, and I have confidence he will continue to do so. Don’t get me wrong, my heart is broken that it feels that we are starting from square one…but if we allow that to consume us, than we have accepted defeat. At this point, Mike has ensured me he is not defeated. He is tired and he is scared as am I, but he grabbed my hand and told me he was not giving up, so I will continue to fight with him…I would not have it any other way.
In closing, for all who love us, know us and have been on this journey since day one – do not be sad (I know easier said than done, because we are back into the unknown), but know that are hearts are lifted and we both stand in agreement AGAINST this disease. This disease will be the mountain that we cast into the sea with the devil chained to the bottom…CANCER will NOT define us! KNOW This! It has been a LONG year and half…and always knew possibly in the back of our minds, we would be called back to battle…here we go!
Love to you ALL !
XOXO Mike and Lyndie!
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your GOD; I WILL strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand – Isaiah 41:10”
I PROMISE this is just a quickie to update you on Mike since the most recent trip to the ER. Since that day, Mike started radiation that evening 1/5/12. The doctor had initially planned to do the radiation in 10 treatments, but due to a prior engagement planned it had to get rearranged…since radiation has to be done consecutively day to day (except weekends), so the doctor went ahead and consolidated and rather then just radiation, he was given a higher dose per treatment, cutting the 10 into 5 treatments (which he finished today). After his review with the Radiation Oncologist, he appears to be doing really well. His back pain is gone, and now all that lingers is complete fatigue from the radiation, therefore he has been resting often over the weekend and this week…so I promise if you are trying to call or text him, he is not ignoring you, just extremely tired. He maintains a great appetite, all bodily functions and reflexes remain normal, he is very coherent and since Thursday has had no reoccurring side effects to show any signs of the same incident from Thursday (Praise GOD!) OH and of course he is sleeping pretty good and getting caught up on sleep me missed with his cough that had kept him up…that too has gotten a lot better!
Moving forward, we will get results from his MRI on Friday to discuss if disease progression caused the ER trip and get to the bottom of what happened. As of 12/29 his last Brain/Spine MRIs showed of no disease progression (as I had mentioned in previous entry), so doctors are not quite sure at this time, but will put some ease to know what possibly occurred. From this visit they will determine whether they will continue him on Avastin which was a huge success this last year while he was on the clinical trial…it had minimal side effects, really none at all and it had amazing results – so we shall see. As for the new chemo, we will be meeting with Dr. Tsao and her clinic the first week in February to go over that game plan to attack the new spots and anything that may be lingering and thinking of waking up or landing somewhere else. We continue to keep our medical team in prayers that GOD will each time lead them to exactly what Mike needs. The good thing is, that the 2 new chemos she is wanting to use do not have the same side effects as the Mega-Chemo did and hair loss is very minimal – Mike was happy to hear that – he Just got his eyebrows back! The reason for the wait in starting is so that he is not hit back to back with a strong chemo and a strong radiation…gives his body time to rest.
As always, our faith remains strong, and though we have days we don’t want to get out of bed, or nights that are filled with tears instead of laughs of our favorite TV shows…we know GOD continues to heal Mike. We have been directed to a nutritionist and our eating habits have completely taken a 180! We do however sneak in an occasional burger or tacos, but for the all the other time, we have become really strict about what we are putting in our bodies! I even ordered a Jack LaLanne Juicer – I am super excited to start making fresh juice mixtures for us!
In closing, please keep this verse close to your heart --- “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze – Isaiah 43:2” Just as we were surprised with floods throughout the city this week, we were blessed to get to and from with no trouble and to also keep Mikes appointments at MDA. This is a special verse to me, for it seems that no matter what points of our life, some seem like we are drowning, some feel like we are being burnt alive by the ways of the world and allowing emotions to set in and consume you (the devil is always looking for circumstances to insert doubt and fear), I remember this verse and know with GOD I am always protected, we are always protected!
Love you all and sincerely hope your new year is going well – our lives continue to have a little bad, the good of GOD continues to out way all it!
PS – I just really cannot write a “short” entry can I? Glad yall know me and understand ;)
Sunday, January 8, 2012
“Faith enables persons to be persons because it lets God be God - Carter Lindberg”
Starting off this entry in hopes that you all have had a good weekend as we all settle in to the New Year – still in awe that it is 2012! I know I wrote recently, but this is just a short notice to update you all on Mike and to continue to ask for prayers and lifting up!
This last Thursday, I was at work and it was the day that Mike was to start his Mega-Radiation, but something else occurred. I got a phone call from him assuming he was just letting me know he was on his was to his appointment…for what happened, I was not prepared but thankful that all became ok. Mike called and was not making sense. He was not slurring, he was just not making sense…almost as if was drugged and wasn’t putting words correctly together. I panicked and was thankful that he knew who I was, knew to call me and knew where he was…just a little disoriented. I rushed out of my office and called 911 to get an ambulance to our house immediately…I was not sure if it was cancer related, medication reaction or a stroke…I literally was at our house in about 7 minutes…I was praying the entire way to not let this be the day that a cop spots me and pulls me over for speeding…I can admit that I fully Thank GOD above for getting me home safe…the entire drive was a blur.
I got home, and ran in the house to see Mike completely coherent, still a little disoriented but knew the time of day, he was able to recall what happened and he was able to answer all the questions that were being asked to him. The EMTs did not rule out that he may have suffered a stroke, but from their evaluations and such, they did not feel that is what occurred. I myself did not feel comfortable driving us to the ER, so they piled us up in the Ambulance and took us there…they were able to continue to monitor Mike of all the vitals and such – all was at normal levels. We arrived to the ER and they admitted him and right away started CT Scans and testing. Praise GOD the CT scans came back normal with no signs of damage to the brain or signs of a stroke. The Doctor in the ER, because we know that Mike has the cancer in the spine, though no disease progression at this time, they did not rule out the fact that it could have been the spinal fluid affected and tickled the nervous system and caused these symptoms. She was happy that they were not prolonged, which she felt was a good sign. Because of the admission to the ER, he was not able to make his radiation appointment, but the doctor went ahead an approved it, which was GREAT so that they could start attacking the cancer that may or may not be there lingering. The doctors feel confident this is going to do exactly what it did when he received brain radiation for the tumors and his vision last year – Claiming it!
Mike will under-go another MRI this week to determine what exactly happened and to rule out disease progression. He underwent one on 12/28, and all was continue to be clean and clear, but in this case, all measure have to be taken – and for that we are Thankful! It was a very busy week last week, and Mike is surely worn out, but maintains his high-spirits, so he knows he must continue to rest and get caught up on his sleep.
We continue to appreciate all of you and your prayers and the action that all our Prayer Warriors on Thursday and came to our side, the prayers were surely felt and we are so thankful for you all! It is so comforting to have you all in our lives, if not in person at all times, we know you are there in spirit! I will continue to keep you all posted and anything new we find out about what exactly occurred on Thursday, and I will continue to update you as to how Mike’s radiation is going also! Please (as I know you always will), please continue to pray for Mike’s strength to continue to be restored and his courage and faith remain strong…for we know GOD is complete control and these things happen for reasons and keep us exercised in our faith – for these are just hurdles.
Much love to you all!!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
“Truth is rarely writ in ink; it lives in nature - Martin H. Fischer”
Hi Everyone! Just a quick note I promise…maybe!
SO, as I had reported in a previous email that Mike was after the first of the year going to start a new chemo-combo that would attack the new spots and continue to work on any other areas that may be contemplating flaring or eliminate any underlying disease that lays dormant ( I always imagine cancer like that Mucus commercial as they check into the mucus hotel and dance around before they are hit with the cold remedy – ha!)…plans have changed.
Last week our visit with Dr. Tsao was not too long, because we were given some options. Mike could sign up for a study that would take 5 weeks of biopsy’s, testing, etc before we even got results that he was admitted, which at the end of those 5 weeks he may not even be accepted into the study. Mike was weary of this choice for the new spots on the liver made him nervous and pro-longing chemo did not sound appealing. We contacted Sr. Tsao’s office and let them know Mike’s feelings, so we scheduled our visit to discuss new chemo plans. Between that time and today, Mike has been experiencing some back pains, lower back pains related to the underlying cancer that had not changed, but yet was stable and causing some nerve damage. The day before our Oncologist visit, Mike met with an Oncologist Radiologist and he will undergo MEGA-Radiation for 7 treatments (starting tomorrow) to rid the cancer as it did in his brain last year (when the optic nerve was in jeopardy and the multiple brain tumors). The oncology team will then use radiation on the rest of the spine to ensure the disease is tackled and no reoccurrence (GOD Willing). For this we are very confident in trusting that radiation is a bad-mama-jama (at least for Mike), and this will knock out a HUGE part of the bone cancer (that could affect the nervous system in the long term) and rid of that!
Because the last visits have been SO amazing, I have trusted and went on our way – but the last visit with the report of new spots (yet I did not GOOGLE) I did research ALL the terminology from the reports and had my questions ready.
ALL my worries were put to rest today, for what I imagined what was happening – the Cancer landing on the liver and that meant that it was going to turn into the flesh eating disease and his system would shut down and then it was near the end. I told this to our Oncologist tonight and she giggled. She always is so polite and even avoids using too much “Dr” terminology with us to allow us to understand what exactly is happening is his system. She grabbed my hand and assured me that waiting for this chemo to start was not meaning that it would allow this cancer to engross his liver! In fact, the spots were so small and no other activity, it is normal and when radiation is done, she is confident it will take care of these spots too. Since this disease entered our lives, man your mind goes up and down and roller coasters all over the place. Then it sets into what happened on the latest episode of ‘House’ you may have watched or any other medical show even ‘Grey’s Anatomy’.
Well thank you to our team of doctors, they really do keep it real. She was very honest in telling me that since Mike has been diagnosed he has surpassed EVERY mark they have set for him pertaining to the “studies”, and prognosis set. She said tonight that he remains one of the healthiest patients she has (despite the cancer). In all he has not slowed down at all or showed any signs of slowing down and will continue to rise above this…his situations is continued to be miraculous!
In closing, I just wanted to remind myself and all, that like the quote above, statistics are written in ink, for we continue to live in nature – which I will continue to trust GOD --- HE continues to hold the truth and nothing but the truth --- I can handle it!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
“It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Author Unknown”
I saw this quote and hesitated posting, because in all actuality, Mike has been blessed with an AMAZING team of Doctors not only at MD Anderson, but everyone from his Dentist to his Primary Care to all others that have crossed his path. He has been so fortunate to always visit a MD that takes his time with him, and will not let him leave the office till he is completely at peace and knows what is going on in his body.
Well the reason that I was jogged to write this particular post, was because though I feel confident in ALL of Mike’s doctors and continue to do so...but a common word used in the medial world is “prognosis”. Agh! The dreaded word – I almost feel this word is worse than the “C” word! Yes I really do. On the news last night, they had a segment about words that people are attempting to vote out of our current “dictionary/language”…you know the slang words that have become so embedded in our everyday talk --- Baby Mamma/Baby Daddy, LOL, Whatever and oh so many other words that have just become so natural flowing out of our mouths. However I for one want to vote the word prognosis out. The definition of prognosis is this: “A prediction of the probable course and outcome of a disease”. In all honesty I had never really heard this word too much until Mike was diagnosed. After that every time we spoke to someone, we were always asked “What is his prognosis”?
Since the beginning of Mike’s diagnosis, we were never “officially” given a prognosis from our doctor. We did however find out after a little prying to get some sort of idea as to the reality of this disease, and though at one time I did regret knowing, I am happy I know now, for I can say Mike stared that 6-9 months in the face and flipped it off and surpassed anything that the Doctors thought he would overcome. As this moves forward daily, I have promised myself that I no longer want to know the prognosis moving forward. Even with the news of the new spots we have received, I do not want to know the “statistical opinion” of others. For one thing I have learned on this journey is that we are ALL different and GOD is the ultimate predictor of “prognoses”.
In the beginning, gosh I was a GOOGLE freak! Every report that came back from Mike’s scans, I shot to GOOGLE to figure out all that “Medical Language”. When he coughed a certain way or had a certain pain, I shot to GOOGLE and every article had a “prognosis” as to what the outcome with having cancer and these symptoms. AGH! It will drive you crazy! One day, I had a person from Mike’s medical team tell me “Lyndie STOP Googling Everything!”. That was hard to hear, because the internet is so accessible, but do you notice one thing – NOT everything is true! I mean really? It’s the internet where you get first hand at all the Make Ups and Break Ups of the Celebrity industry. It is where you can on Wikipedia create your own definition of a made up word – I know! Anyhow, though a prognosis is defined and at MDA (in Mike’s case) is results of years and years of studies pertaining to particular cancers, etc – I am choosing no longer to know Mike’s Medical prognosis and relying on a day to day of GODs prognosis for us.
As Human’s our prognosis changes daily. Shoot when I was in my early twenties, the way I was leading life, I was sure to not see my 32nd birthday – but the party hard ways and lifestyle I led, while in terms of all studies, I should have been in jail, dead or possibly others, GOD had other plans and I am here today. Now don’t get me wrong, some of the “prognoses” given have been dead on…BUT many others have not and continue to not be. We are in a world that is based on statistics…Marriage, divorce, likely of getting a disease by drinking coffee or talking on cell phones and so many more. I used to let these “numbers” consume me beyond belief! But now, as I have learned and really continue to (though seems easier said than done), I continue to give it to GOD above! He is the ONLY one no matter how many “statistics” are given, he knows the ULTIMATE TRUE prognosis of us all! For this I have so much peace in knowing that a doctor nor the internet will choose what is to happen to My husband or I. Thank you JESUS for that peace!
In closing, as we enter this new year, yes, I know that Mike and I cannot control the cancer nor what GOD has planned for us, but each day we wake up, we CAN continue to strive to do what is right…we may not ALWAYS get it right, but we sure will try! Also, we cannot control the cancer, we CAN control how we treat ourselves and what we put into our bodies, hearts and minds – for this I am thankful for this freedom! The freedom to NOT depend on these numbers – for they are just that…numbers. Yes, true people depend on these “statistics and prognoses” but for me and my household, we will continue to serve the LORD and trust that he is the one that will determine when it is our time. My husband has fallen because of this disease and he has risen above it. I hope for us all we continue to rise above ALL our “diseases” this year in 2012 – let’s plan to not trust our “human Prognosis” but depend on what GOD above has planned!
My prayer for us all this year: Dear LORD, we come to you humbly and with hearts wide open. We life our hearts and minds to you in hopes that you will continue to strengthen them in this coming year. We are nowhere close to perfect in Human form, but we strive to be perfect in your eyes in all that we do. For you are the reason we are here today, and have all that we have. You are the reason we wake up every morning and live our days. Please allow us in 2012 to continue to make it ALL ABOUT YOU! Thank you JESUS for this ALL – In Your Name please accept this blessing. Amen!